Its not easy as it seems, as u can see the previous blog that i written, its went pretty nasty and went out of control. We were this close to the border line, and i can't deny i really thought of the worst to come. But thank god, i really glad we two talked it out and the bond is much stronger than its before. Maybe that moment we both realize that we really love each other, no doubt at all when you felt your heart sank to the bottom of the ocean realizing you gonna lose him/her.
Its was the worst and the most life- learning throughout my 20 years. We fought hard like fire and storm, throwing harsh words at each other and both tearing down into arguments, blaming at each other, tears and silence war burst out of no where. We gave both of us sometime to ourselves to find the way out of it. We knew our love and compassion towards each other were there all the time, is just that we are so caught up with the reality stress and past, in the end we need to be alone for awhile. And here we go 3 weeks of without being WE and temporarily be ME, the road to find the true us. I really told myself to stop checking your last status and searching the source of happiness by myself. I want to be happy of being ME, not ANYONE GIRLFRIEND, ANYONE BEST FRIEND, We made a mistake that we bottled up everything just to ensure the other person happiness. Shouldn't be that way.
After three weeks of isolation, we met up like we promise to each other:"Lets give both of us some time out in 3 weeks. After the 3 weeks, meet me when you ready." So many sleepless nights that this might not turn out well, the silence might make you realize your love towards me were no longer there and the worst thing is we will come to the end. But, for god sake, we spoke it out and I end up were in your arm, you holding me so tight.
That's when i realize, u love me like how i love you and even though we went through all those bad days, when you held me in your arms, I knew i wanna be the one you love and fight for. Secretly, I fall for you for second time. Smiling and I asked myself, this guy will gonna make you fall for him more and more day by day, and what about the unpredictable future? Let God decide it then. I rather risk then stop trying.
