I never knew that i being so selfish throughout the whole relationship because i was blessed to be filled with the love and caring that u keep pouring and at certain limit, i took it for granted. I always thought that being truthful is the best but i think end up all the words i spoken unfiltered (should i say: not mindful to each and every word i said because too comfortable being with you that i didn't put myself to your shoes).
That 1hour conversation really kills me inside. I was so sad to hear you the other side of the phone was so frustrated and all those tears u shed make me realize how much you love me.
27.9km. Is that really what cause us to become more doubtful towards each other trust and faith?
I don't really know.
I never knew.
Is me or you?
Although the starting conversation pretty nasty but at least we still manage to stop the war before it gets even more worse until at the certain extend we may lose each other. But the recovery gonna be tough.
First, we will never get back to the past when we never argue on anything.
Second, the scar after the fight will never be faded in our heart, as we blamed each other we said too much of unnecessary words to defend ourselves and it hurts the other one's heart.
Third, it takes time to be comfortable with each other presence because right now each and every things you said will be filtered repeating. You are worrying that you might said something wrong again.
27,9km. Its hard to not being there with you all the time but i know you felt the same too. Perhaps, throughout the whole time you never express anything unlike i always do, that time i always felt i need you more than you need me and its unbearable. U always believe action better than words, but I not too say like words more than action instead i want to hear the words to acknowledge whats in your mind. I know people say if u love someone, you know what he/she thinks. Half correct. Now we are 27.9km apart with each busy schedules, less talk, less meetup, less face-to-face. So, how i gonna know what you are thinking and felt? Words in phone screen don't carry expression. Interpreting might happen. ( I wondering is that why you don't wrote much during whatsapps)
So, its tough to see the recovery is happening during this 27.9km apart. From conversation frm morning to night, midnight convo, until now 10mins conversation. You can't say you are fine with that, but i accept it as challenge and a trust to have with you although i know deep inside i hate changes.
#Aslongaswearefightingforfuturetogether
